The prayer

I prayed fervently today. I experienced one of those moments when all kinds of bad thoughts come to my mind about people I care about the most, the people I cannot do without. And as I prayed, I realised, with much shame, as to how ungrateful I am to God and how I take things for granted when they are going about nicely and uneventfully; how my prayers lack conviction and dedication when these special people are blending in happily and giving meaning to my life. Yet, I prayed, for I wanted God to banish all these black thoughts from my mind and give me strength so that I never dwell further in any of them. They began to dissipate then, like shadows under the advent of light, through the recesses of my mind. But they did so slowly and painfully, rightly reminding me of my reckless impudence. I was strangely sapped of all the strength, both physically and mentally and still there were vestiges of fear and self-doubt meandering in my heart. But I didn’t care. All I wanted was the prayers, that desperately asked for protection, forgiveness and happiness to those people I love, to be heard. I was humbled by the unconditional gifts He has given me in the form of such marvellous individuals. I was gripped with selfish terror of how shattered by life would become if, God forbid, something awful happened to any of them. And so, I prayed. I made no promises but I asked for guidance to help me remember Him and thank Him for everything, especially for blessing me with the dearest people I could ever wish for. I thought of their smiling faces and every little moment that I had the privilege of sharing with them. The bad thought s faded into an unknown oblivion taking the last of vestiges along with them. I lay there exhausted but thankful and suddenly an inexplicable wave of merciful relief washed over me like a sweet scented breeze just before the first rain. And then I cried...