Thursday, May 28, 2015

The sands of despair

For once I'm not at all liking this cloudy weather. Technically it's not even cloudy. Just a lot of sand hanging in the air and blocking out the sun. Since morning the outside world has been consistently subdued, orange tinged (of a sickly variety), dusty and windy. That I'm safe from this unhealthy atmosphere ensconced within four walls, comfortably air conditioned doesn't gratify me in the least. Perhaps it's because as I look out occasionally to berate at the unrelenting bad weather I see a few souls out exposed to the risks to their health which they must take in order to keep up their livelihood. It just doesn't seem fair however illogical my indignation is. Or perhaps it's because of the fact that I can't even venture out to blow away my proverbial cobwebs since I must consider the health of my toddler if not my own. The weather application on my phone claims today to be dreary which aptly describes the reason for the depth my mood has gradually plunged to. Ironic what a few million tonnes of sand in the air can do. Prayer helped, but since probably my spiritual state is woefully weak I couldn't maintain that meditative calmness after I finished praying. It's one of those unreasonable moments of despair when neither contemplating how things could be worse nor counting one's blessings helps. Contentment seems like a mythical concept and worries that are usually in a distant background seem to hang like a millstone around the neck. The mind alternately becomes listless and restless and the soul yearns to shed human dignity and pushes the body to run amok screaming ferally at anything and everything. But then I couldn't really subject those poor souls outside to such insanity when they are already being exposed to the potential threats of dusty, polluted air. And with that I've come a full circle, beginning and ending this rant with woes of a bad weather. It is my fervent hope that soon my mood rises to a peaceful state whence I can gratefully and humbly contemplate how things could be worse and count my blessings.