The ramifications of an addled mind.

It’s absurd to see how man has evolved from one civilisation to the other throughout the centuries, kept the world running on an instilled philosophy, among many others, of never giving up; of striving hard until a goal is reached. A lot of success, achievement and a drive to move onward in the most trying of situations that demand for extreme adaptabilities have been possible due to the implementation of this deep rooted philosophy. It has made human beings live up to their uniqueness of being the only ingenious species in the world, possibly the whole universe. But sometimes one wonders if this never-giving-up trait of man is the only solution to grab whatever he desires but is just out of his reach. The seemingly undauntable concept does prevail because of the existence of its opposite, doesn’t it? Just as there’s good because there’s evil. It exists as an alternate option that a person can wilfully choose. Yet, that choice is always his last resort and in some instances he doesn’t allow any ground for that choice at all. In general he would resort to it only after a long, painful struggle that leaves him with nothing instead of getting him what he wanted. I wonder, then, what would happen if we could just give up once in a while...

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I know this feeling; the feeling of desolation, hopelessness and sorrow. The feeling when you’re desperately trying to find answers in the intricate maze of mind and end up running into blank walls, dead ends, every time. And the fact that this feeling is so familiar makes it even more painful to bear, more tangible, more lasting. I find it easy to succumb to it, drown in agony, and lose myself never to be found again. The pain it inflicts on my heart, mind and soul is enormous, worse than the worst battering a body can take and still continue to breathe. For the physical torture could eventually stop and the body could slowly heal or it could all end in a blissful darkness of death. This feeling, however, would never cease to exist and it would never allow any other feeling to prevail. It feeds on my strengths and thrives with my weaknesses. It makes me surrender to it readily lest I resort to the path of self destruction.