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Thursday, December 9, 2010

The stellar reach


Do you know beyond the rising moon
A star awaits to sparkle soon?
Yearning to shine, unwavering
Far more than just a traveller’s boon
She dipped into the sea of night
Embraced the dark with much delight
A cold fire that burned with grace
Neither daunted nor out of sight
A guiding light, a gift so pure
A loyal friend, so firm so sure
A Divine sign for those who ponder
A lover’s hope, a poet’s lure
Beheld her, the child, eyes agape
A diamond on a smooth black cape
That child was I, a child no more
With life to mend and dreams to shape
Yet now I gaze into the sky
Watch her as eons pass her by
Untouched by them will she remain
While I will age, wither and die



Saturday, October 30, 2010

The Dusk

Deep on the horizon, built of the hottest of fires
Burns with the last of its might like the fiercest desires
Layers upon layers of heavenly magic it weaves
Beckoning to the darkness, for the other side as it leaves.
Shimmering and languid rivers, like lava they flow
Bathed in soft saffron, trees like embers aglow
Orange in the forests, glittering rubies in the sea
Golden in your hair, as fiery eyes gaze deeply at me.
Hypnotic hues melt hearts by kindling fires within
Enrapture us with fables that don’t end, only begin
Surreal painted skies none but Divinely contrived
Gifting us a moment whence a mythical autumn has arrived
Come, revel in this wondrous, painfully short hour
Ablaze with all its beauty near the shift of power
If tomorrow’s promise breaks bringing darkness and gloom
With the last blazing sunset on our souls we will enter our doom.

Friday, August 20, 2010

The gift


As I got on the train that cool rainy night I felt apprehension for the first time regarding the journey we were about to undertake. I must have come to terms with the excitement, joy and curiosity that had eclipsed the prospect of travelling to and seeing a new place. Now I trudged warily into the compartment pulling my luggage behind me that suddenly felt heavier than it was. The atmosphere was filled with general excitement, confusion and noises as fellow travellers strove to settle themselves in their respective seats. Trying to shake off negative thoughts I determinedly attempted to blend into the environment. It helped that I had to focus all my attention on finding my seat and keeping my belongings in their allotted places. But as soon as we were all settled the apprehension came back. I said a little prayer this time to keep the worst of my fears at bay; the fear of all the possible things that could go wrong and uncontrollably awry. After a while as the train began moving, Dad struck up a light, humorous conversation that further allayed my anxiety. I did purposefully allow myself a little apprehension though, to prime myself in the face of adversity.
A couple of hours or so into the journey had passed and the cacophonic environment had changed into a slumber haven as we crept into the late hours of the night. To the one still awake the atmosphere could either infuse in one’s heart an eerie loneliness in the midst of a train full of travellers or a peaceful solitude, detached from the stillness of the world outside, together with a few people most of whom as an added advantage had wilfully surrendered to the realm of temporary death. I wished for the latter; to indulge myself in a sense of serenity. But the remnants of my impalpable fear had let the former reign for a good part of my waking hours. I knew my attempts to sleep at this point would be futile. So I just lay on my berth and tried to turn my mental loneliness to my favour. I kept glancing at my cell phone screen that, when network allowed, showed names of new and bizarre-sounding names of places whose reception areas we passed through. I held on to it like a lifeline that connected me to the outside world. Occasionally the cell phone chimed and I would find a message from a friend who seemed to be living in a safe part of the world, not gripped by the vice of uncertainty. Later I would find this thought to be preposterous because my rational mind then would point out the obvious fact that the world of events is a prime representative of perpetual uncertainty. With my heart tipping towards vulnerability, rationale seemed like its least possible aid. Consequently I began thinking about things that had occurred recently. I remembered the day when Dad announced the confirmation of our train tickets. When he added with great flourish that we would be travelling in AC compartment it drew a lot of cheer and relief from everyone except me. I muttered my disapproval over its boxed confinement, its heavily tinted windows with poor or no outside view, the pungent staleness in the supposedly conditioned air and the overall lack of freedom of openness. I expressed my preference for second class compartments.  I had to relent owing to the hearty approval of the majority. It was too late anyway to make any changes. The next day, the subject of our much anticipated trip came up once again and Dad announced that our return journey would be in second class compartment. Amid the mini-chaos that followed I was profoundly touched the immense consideration in this small act of his. He had promptly transferred the seat reservations from AC to second class at just the whiff of my half-heartedness. His concern and thoughtfulness overwhelmed me and the feeling was little affected by the hostile vibes of AC cab preferring enthusiasts.
Lying on my berth I smiled as I recalled the incident and my heart lifted a significant bit. The atmosphere started to feel much serene and less lonely. More thoughts and memories came flooding into my mind and I revelled in them. I was amazed at how a mere shift in the state of mind dispelled fears and lifted my spirits. Some amount of wariness still remained but it existed as a persistent by-product of my alertness. I glanced at the heavily tinted window. Even with the poor visibility I imagined a cool, ink-blue, star-studded night with a partial moon struggling to outshine other heavenly entities. The train was moving with a steady speed now. The tell-tale rhythmic sounds of hundreds of wheels turning over gapped metal tracks and the pistons and the engine and the occasional distant blare of the horn created an unprecedented  mechanical melody that dipped and soared as the sounds echoed off nearby and far-off valleys, hills, plains and houses. The melody filled me and lulled me and the steady swaying of the cab infused in me a distantly familiar calmness. As I slowly drifted away from consciousness I remembered a familiar deep but gentle voice that crooned age old lullabies and the strong hands that held and cradled me to sleep under the partially moonlit, cool, ink-blue, star-studded night.
As I slept dreamlessly, hours passed and miles were traversed of which I was blissfully unaware. From across the bridge of nothingness a voice called out my name, faintly at first but gaining strength with every call. The voice was same as the one I had remembered as I had drifted off to sleep. It grew louder but not uncomfortably so and as my mind broke through the realm of sleep, I realised someone was gently waking me up. The voice spoke my name again and I slowly opened my eyes, registered the all too familiar face through the early morning gloom and smiled sleepily at my Dad.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

The contest VII

Hello!
 The blog contest is back. Show your best on the July edition of the Blog contest.
Cheers!

Saturday, July 24, 2010

The shower


The day hadn’t begun remarkably. All the joy and the positivity that comes along with a brand new day went hurtling out my seventh floor window when I swore loudly as soon as my bleary eyes registered the time on my cell phone screen. I was late. Again. I had to be somewhere important but I had overslept. Again. And so the first word out of my mouth on that brand new day was a curse. And yet I wonder why my day hadn’t begun remarkably. By the time I threw on some clothes and made my face look like it didn’t belong to a constantly oversleeping person, my self admonition had ended and I happened to glance outside the window through which joy and positivity had recently jumped and met their premature deaths.
Patches of threateningly rain-laden clouds were scattered all the way till the horizon but it seemed like they had temporarily let the sun peek from its hiding place. The daunting downpour of the previous night had washed the city thoroughly and it gleamed brightly in places where sunlight had nervously managed to reach.
A glance at my wall clock (that conveniently hung over the window) shattered the rosy description of the outside world and shifted me back to my oh-shit-I’m-late mode. I was about to curse loudly again when Mother called me for breakfast. Ugh! I was too late to even think of breakfast. As I entered the dining hall I saw Mother holding a plate with slices of bread smeared with butter and jam on it. “Eat fast. You’re already late,” she said, like I needed any reminding. I was about to rush of the house when she called again. I turned, only to find her shoving an umbrella into my unsuspecting hands. It looked old, dusty and barely used, rightly indicating my irrational aversion towards umbrellas. Naturally I opened my mouth to retaliate. She gave me one of her stern-mother looks that always made me back down and brought to my mind a picture of a puppy whimpering and retreating with its tail between its legs.
Tapping my foot impatiently on the ground and looking at my wrist watch occasionally like some Big Shot I scanned the sea of infuriatingly slow moving traffic and felt a feral urge to curse again. Oh stop it, dirt-mouth! As if that’s going to help, said a small but firm voice inside me I’d like to call conscience. Its sane, no-nonsense words were still resonating in my mind when I sighted an unoccupied rickshaw approaching me. Without even having the need to flag it down it slowed to a stop right in front of me. The driver was kind enough to only give me an amused smile when I blurted out a thank you for stopping for me and saving my day. As he drove me to my destination I reminded myself I had to visit the library later, a prospect that immediately squished my near hysteria. My lateness was pardoned (yet again!) which further relieved most of my ridiculous tension. By the time I set out to go to the library there was positively a spring in my step.
The grey clouds had gathered over the city again after it seemed fit to them that the sun had shone enough for the day. Consequently they began their promised onslaught as it began pouring heavily; the sound of falling rain reminding me of a large crowd bursting into a hearty laughter all at once. I smiled widely even as I grudgingly opened the old contraption of spring, steel, plastic and nylon (or whatever. No way am I mentioning the name again!). I really didn’t want to end up sopping wet in the library and drip all over the books. As I issued a few books and headed out I saw the rain had no plan of relenting. Humming a tune of no song in particular I walked gleefully on the sidewalk stepping purposefully on the flowing rivulets of rain water that gushed noisily as they ploughed into things on their way and drained into gutters. The black canopy over my head was serving the purpose of keeping the books that I carried fairly dry. Meanwhile I happily splashed my way through the puddles and streams completely wetting my clothes well up to the knees and almost all of my right side. The books were tucked inside my bag that hung for its dear dry life from my left shoulder. I looked around and it was like seeing through a clear silver-grey glass. The usual din of the city was drowned out by the orchestra of raindrops of every size pelting themselves on any exposed surface.
 The vibes I felt of the general disapproval, annoyance and impatience were reflected by the scene around me. Pedestrians huddled under their, well, devices they use for ‘protection’ against the rain, skipping and prancing over puddles and streams vainly, while some just hurried along wading through the water (although they had an expression on their faces that looked like they were being forcefully made to swallow something bitter!). Some people had taken shelter under trees or awnings of shops or anything that bore even a slight semblance of a roof. On the whole, everyone around me was doing everything they could to get away from the rain and its wetness while I promenaded on the sidewalk revelling in its freshness. I was so content in my little bubble of joy. By the time I reached home I was dripping and sopping wet from waist down and my sandals were making a squishy sound with every step I took. I giggled giddily like a five year old on a sugar rush and punched the door bell. Mother smiled despite herself as she took in the sight of my silly grin and my crazily flapping wet clothes. Still smiling she let me in and said, “You look quite like a very wet crow, dear.” I chuckled at her comment and opened my mouth to reply but instead gave out a sudden almighty sneeze. Mother burst out laughing and the day was remarkable again.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Monday, June 28, 2010

The crumbling bridge


If misery had a face I’m ready to believe it is smiling smugly right now. It knew all along that I’d inevitably choose to drown in its lightless and hopeless abyss without even putting up a fight to try to get to the surface. Now there just remains a painful wait to finally reach the bottom which, a good part of life has taught me, would never come. I should try to get out of this misery, one might wisely suggest. But the fact that I’d willingly walked into it has made it that much more difficult to get out. Not that I want to. Hopelessness has blinded me and I perceive nothing but a stark gaping void that mocks me with its perpetual presence. Misery has filled the void to its brim like dark waters encroaching dry low lands at the start of imminent floods. And I’ve welcomed the floods.
I had never imagined the lack of physical presence of certain souls would have such staggering consequences. I have no idea for how long I had convinced myself that I’d eventually learn to live with the void before sadly realizing I had been fooling myself.
Life has shifted its wheels to an unfamiliar terrain on which I tread warily. New and unpredictable commitments demand my reluctant attention and mutter disapproval at my attempts to look back at the times when different lives crossed paths regularly and intertwined easily. A few familiar voices assure me, coax me, and encourage me in vain to take things as they come, be grateful and move on. Some of those voices are laced with concern, some with impatience and some with exasperation. But they are all drowned out by the by the incessant, unfamiliar chatter that corrodes the peace of my mind and tests my patience. It is relentless in its purpose to prod and pry. At this point all I want to do is run away to a place where all my problems become redundant. I wish for all these distractions to just vanish forever. I crave for solitude not realizing it has already infested the dark waters of misery. My craving strengthens it as I slide helplessly into the clutches of loneliness. The mindless chatter prevails but it is the least of my problems now. Life goes on like a slow pointless dream as I struggle to conform to the new reality while my mind wanders aimlessly in the hopeful past. My struggle is futile, I’m taking all the wrong turns and misery smiles some more. I’ve inadvertently built for myself a world of cruel irony where loneliness that I’d once so fervently craved for has become the ultimate distraction.